five things part the third!

[stephanometra]

For corvidae9: Five Things Hermione Wanted to Be When She Grew Up
1. A dentist, just like her Mum and Dad.
2. A barrister, just like her second-form teacher tells her she should be after he gets tired of arguing with her for the hundredth time.
3. A professor and Head of House like Professor McGonagall. No one would dare call her a know-it-all if she could take House points for it, and professors are meant to be know-it-alls anyway, aren't they?
4. Alive, after she takes a slashing hex to the chest during their hunt for Horcruxes and has to drag an insensate Ron back to their rendezvous point while bleeding out from the chest, because she can't spare the magical energy to stop the bleeding or levitate him when she's battling Death Eaters over her shoulder.
5. A mum, so that she can tell her children about how brave and wonderful their Uncle Harry was.


Also for corvidae9: Five Movies Dean Loves and One He Hates (Except Doesn't Really), and don't think I didn't see what you did there, Di. :P
Note: there are no shitty horror movies on this list, because I don't watch them, and fanboy!Dean is canon and ergo writing about him being such is WOEFULLY UNINTERESTING.
1. The Great Escape. Steve McQueen is a fucking badass. Dad didn't like moves - didn't like much of anything besides hunting and cars, really - but wherever they were staying, if The Great Escape was on, they watched it. Dean probably saw it a hundred times by the time he was eighteen, just sitting around cheap apartments or motels with Dad and Sam whenever there was a lull in a hunt or a vacation from school, and he still loves it.
2. Batman, both the old one with Adam West (SHARK REPELLENT) and the new one with Keaton. He likes Batman Returns, too, because the Penguin is a creepy bastard and Catwoman is smokin' hot.
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What? It's part of his childhood, man.
4. Die Hard. Another part of his childhood, another movie he was all too happy to watch over and over on television in seedy motels in dozens of states. Dean distinctly remembers Dad threatening to kill him if he said, "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!" one more time, and Dad was never one to make idle threats.
5. XXX. Vin Diesel may not be as cool as McQueen, but the overall balance of hot girls, explosions, shootouts, and an antihero kicking ass and taking names in that movie makes Dean smile every single time.
And the movie he says he hates, but secretly loves: Titanic, although the only time he ever saw it all the way through was in a theater with some chick he dated in high school. The romance bullshit bores him (so he fast-forwards through a lot of it), but Kate Winslet has awesome tits, and he always laughs like a maniac when that one guy falls and bounces off that propeller thing as the ship goes vertical.


For fictionalaspect: Harry Potter's Five Most Embarrassing Drunken Hookups (and no, I don't care one bit that I'm constructing a different future here than I did earlier in this very post, why do you ask?)
1. Hermione. Ron was at St. Mungo's in magically induced stasis while the mediwizards tried to put him back together after a run-in with Bellatrix. They were just both so worried, and worry led to drinking, and drinking led to kissing, and kissing led to other things which they are never going to speak of again, ta muchly.
2. Percy (the first time). It was after a Ministry function - Harry was drinking because Ginny copped off with Neville, and somewhere along the line, his inebriated brain decided that Percy was clearly the next-best thing.
3. Pansy Parkinson. Honestly, Harry is floored that there exists enough alcohol on the planet to make sleeping with Draco fucking Malfoy's sloppy seconds look like a good idea. At the very least it should have been enough to kill him after (or better yet, before), which would have saved him from experiencing the Most Awkward Morning After in the history of Mornings After. He was so traumatized that he decided to swear off girls forever.
4. Luna. He totally told her when she put her hand on his thigh under the table that he was no longer fucking women - Pansy's name may or may not have come up - but she just blinked and said, "Well, in that case, I'll just have to fuck you." That was his first and only experience with a strap-on, but that's not the embarrassing part; the embarrassing part is that he now blushes whenever he hears the word "pegged," and he can't explain it to anyone because he won't kiss and tell on her like that, even though she probably wouldn't mind.
5. Percy (again). What the hell is it about him, anyway? Christ, Harry is never, ever getting drunk around Percy again. Ever. Because he totally can't control himself around Percy and he doesn't know why.


For limmenel: Five Things Dean Did That Sam Knows Nothing About
1. Tara Robertson. She was Sam's first girlfriend in high school - five feet four of witty, pretty jailbait Sam really, really shouldn't have brought home, because she was all over Dean the second Sam's back was turned. Dean doesn't know how to say no to cute girls who are sexually aggressive any more than chicks seem to be able to say no to him.
2. Come to think of it, Dean had to have boned at least half of the chicks Sam went out with in high school. Because that thing Sam had going on - that affable, sweet-faced new-kid-in-town schtick that drew in girls like flies to honey? Was nothing compared to the bad-boy older brother rep that Dean got just by existing, especially after Dad bought the truck and handed down the Impala.
3. When Sam borrowed the Impala to take his date to prom, Dean made sure there was a brand-new box of condoms in the glovebox; the next day, Dean grinned when he saw there were three missing.
4. He checked up on Sam a few times a year the entire time Sam was at Stanford, even after Sam caught him at it in his second year and told Dean to fuck off. He'd stay in town a couple of days, just long enough to make sure that Sammy was doing okay (and to hustle the college-bar pool circuit for all it was worth, which in a place like Palo Alto is a lot), and then he'd drive back to Dad's latest set of coordinates and act like he'd been there all along. He even sat in on a couple of Sam's classes during that first year, when there were enough people in the lecture halls that Dean could slip in without raising eyebrows and slip out before Sam saw him - and Christ, he so wishes that he could make fun of Sam for taking Psych of Women without giving himself away.
5. In the first few months after Jess died, Sam sometimes cried himself to sleep. Dean spent those nights with one hand clenched around the handle of the hunting knife under his pillow, wide awake and murderously angry at the thing that dared to make his brother so miserable.

ETA: Dream State, by skialalia. Beautiful, beautiful wanking porn. YES, WANKING PORN.