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stephanometra) wrote2007-04-12 11:30 am
stephanometra) wrote2007-04-12 11:30 am
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five things, part 1
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emiime: What The Tea Cosy Saw (Five Things That Happened at Midnight in the Kitchen at the Burrow)
1. Mrs. Molly Weasley, married two days, six hours, and fourteen minutes, sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night to reorganize the kitchen cabinets. Really, it's not that she doesn't appreciate her mother-in-law's generosity in giving them a house as a wedding gift (because she does), it's just that Molly can't possibly rule the kitchen with an iron fist if she's always flailing about because she can't find the bloody spoons.
2. Mr. Percival Weasley interrupting his brothers' late-night comfort snack (they were both dreadfully ill with mumps) with his insistence on being born two weeks early, an event that was greatly amusing to Mr. William Weasley, age four, who gleefully demanded to know why Mummy was making wee on the kitchen floor.
3. The very first prank of Messrs. Fred and George Weasley, who at the age of five figured out that mounting the Burrow's most obnoxious magic mirror on the inside of the undersink cabinet would scare the ever-loving shite out of whomever next opened said cabinet. Mr. Arthur Weasley was not amused.
4. Mr. Charles Weasley shagging the hell out of Ms. Nymphadora Tonks, whose parents graciously allowed her to visit for two days over Christmas hols in 1989.
5. Ms. Ginevra Weasley, mad as hell and piss-drunk, loudly cursing the name of Harry Potter and all tossers like him, who think nothing of running off with a girl's older brother, WHO IS ALSO A TOSSER, THE SPECCY GIT, without so much as a by-your-leave.
Formelange1: Five Times Dean Would, In Fact, Kill Sam
1. "Sam, if you try and play that Death Cab shit one more time, I will not be held responsible for my actions."
2. "The fuck did you do to my car?"
3. "What do you mean, there's no coffee?"
4. "It's not a big deal, dude, it's just a cut. Get the fuck away from me with tha-OW JESUS GODDAMN YOU SAM YOU MOTHERFUCKER."
5. "Oh God, don't stop. Fuck yeah, you're such a good little cockslut. Nnggh oh Christ if you stop I'm going to -"
Forsummerborn: Five Things Regulus Black Wanted to Be When He Grew Up
1. The captain of the Wimbourne Wasps. Regulus is balls at Quidditch, really, but being on a team appeals to him (so long as he gets to call the plays).
2. A suave, cool Hit Wizard like in the terrible pulp spy novels that Mother doesn't know he reads.
3. A suave, cool 00 agent like in the not-so-terrible Muggle spy novels Mother can't know he reads.
4. Strong and smart and quick enough to beat Bella in a duel without resorting to fighting dirty (the way she always does, and the way that he wishes he didn't have to).
5.Sirius
Foranoneknewmoose: Five Times Dean Wished He Had Brain Bleach In The Trunk With The Shotguns
1. Once, during a bout with food poisoning - unavoidable, really, what with all the garbage they tend to eat on the road - Sam hurled all over the Impala (because it would have been too fucking easy for Sammy to just throw up on the ground like a normal person), and then again in the back seat. Honestly, Dean didn't know whether to cry for his baby or throw up himself, and he really has no desire to remember the experience of scrubbing dried puke off the hood. In summer. In Arizona.
2. The first time he shot a succubus, she kind of exploded all over the cheap motel room, covering everything in a thin, slimy layer of mixed blood and come. And yeah, Dean should have expected that - it's what the fuckers do, after all - but Christ, he's never going to be able to forget the sharp, alkaline smell of it (or the feel of it on his face).
3. The only time he walked in on Dad jerking off in the shower. That isn't the kind of mistake you make twice.
4. Every time he comes across a human body that's been ripped into a little bit. The soft tissue damage doesn't bother him, but if Dean had to pick a least favorite organ, it would definitely be the small intestine.
5. Those last few minutes before Dad...yeah. Because Dean isn't sure he can anyway, and his life was a lot less complicated before he thought he might have to. Fucking demon.
emiime: What The Tea Cosy Saw (Five Things That Happened at Midnight in the Kitchen at the Burrow)1. Mrs. Molly Weasley, married two days, six hours, and fourteen minutes, sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night to reorganize the kitchen cabinets. Really, it's not that she doesn't appreciate her mother-in-law's generosity in giving them a house as a wedding gift (because she does), it's just that Molly can't possibly rule the kitchen with an iron fist if she's always flailing about because she can't find the bloody spoons.
2. Mr. Percival Weasley interrupting his brothers' late-night comfort snack (they were both dreadfully ill with mumps) with his insistence on being born two weeks early, an event that was greatly amusing to Mr. William Weasley, age four, who gleefully demanded to know why Mummy was making wee on the kitchen floor.
3. The very first prank of Messrs. Fred and George Weasley, who at the age of five figured out that mounting the Burrow's most obnoxious magic mirror on the inside of the undersink cabinet would scare the ever-loving shite out of whomever next opened said cabinet. Mr. Arthur Weasley was not amused.
4. Mr. Charles Weasley shagging the hell out of Ms. Nymphadora Tonks, whose parents graciously allowed her to visit for two days over Christmas hols in 1989.
5. Ms. Ginevra Weasley, mad as hell and piss-drunk, loudly cursing the name of Harry Potter and all tossers like him, who think nothing of running off with a girl's older brother, WHO IS ALSO A TOSSER, THE SPECCY GIT, without so much as a by-your-leave.
For
melange1: Five Times Dean Would, In Fact, Kill Sam1. "Sam, if you try and play that Death Cab shit one more time, I will not be held responsible for my actions."
2. "The fuck did you do to my car?"
3. "What do you mean, there's no coffee?"
4. "It's not a big deal, dude, it's just a cut. Get the fuck away from me with tha-OW JESUS GODDAMN YOU SAM YOU MOTHERFUCKER."
5. "Oh God, don't stop. Fuck yeah, you're such a good little cockslut. Nnggh oh Christ if you stop I'm going to -"
For
summerborn: Five Things Regulus Black Wanted to Be When He Grew Up1. The captain of the Wimbourne Wasps. Regulus is balls at Quidditch, really, but being on a team appeals to him (so long as he gets to call the plays).
2. A suave, cool Hit Wizard like in the terrible pulp spy novels that Mother doesn't know he reads.
3. A suave, cool 00 agent like in the not-so-terrible Muggle spy novels Mother can't know he reads.
4. Strong and smart and quick enough to beat Bella in a duel without resorting to fighting dirty (the way she always does, and the way that he wishes he didn't have to).
5.
For
anoneknewmoose: Five Times Dean Wished He Had Brain Bleach In The Trunk With The Shotguns1. Once, during a bout with food poisoning - unavoidable, really, what with all the garbage they tend to eat on the road - Sam hurled all over the Impala (because it would have been too fucking easy for Sammy to just throw up on the ground like a normal person), and then again in the back seat. Honestly, Dean didn't know whether to cry for his baby or throw up himself, and he really has no desire to remember the experience of scrubbing dried puke off the hood. In summer. In Arizona.
2. The first time he shot a succubus, she kind of exploded all over the cheap motel room, covering everything in a thin, slimy layer of mixed blood and come. And yeah, Dean should have expected that - it's what the fuckers do, after all - but Christ, he's never going to be able to forget the sharp, alkaline smell of it (or the feel of it on his face).
3. The only time he walked in on Dad jerking off in the shower. That isn't the kind of mistake you make twice.
4. Every time he comes across a human body that's been ripped into a little bit. The soft tissue damage doesn't bother him, but if Dean had to pick a least favorite organ, it would definitely be the small intestine.
5. Those last few minutes before Dad...yeah. Because Dean isn't sure he can anyway, and his life was a lot less complicated before he thought he might have to. Fucking demon.